The places we go

There was a week not so long ago that I walked around thinking something was off. I had looked in the mirror one morning and noticed that my belly looked a little rounder than normal… and of course my mind went to that spot. That oh dear… could I be walking around pregnant and not know? place. I think all women know the place.

Now, since having Paige the hubby and I have gone to extraordinary lengths to make sure we do not have a baby #3. So really, it wasn’t possible. But my mind still went there.

I walked around and would stop whenever I came across a mirror, and would asses how the belly looked. Could it be? Could it just be I gained weight? But I hadn’t.

A week or so went by, and it turns out I wasn’t pregnant. But something looked new. Same weight as before, but the curves looked so different.

At some point the revelation happened. The difference was that I wasn’t sucking my tummy in. By the grace of, something, I’ve been able to let go. I’ve been comfortable enough to feel and see the curves that make up who I am. That place where you can look in the mirror and feel ok, the place where you’re not trying to be something you’re not. I’m able to let go and finally breathe. It’s taken years, but I’m here, and I’m loving it.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “The places we go

  1. I’m not there yet. Probably because I still look 6 months pregnant 13 months after giving birth. “They” always say breastfeeding just melts the weight off. “They” are wrong, at least in my case.

  2. i was going to write JUST what C @kid things did! i REALLY wish i could be okay with it, but i totally look 6 months preggo still. *sigh* i really want my girls to have a positive self image, so i’m VERY careful about it, but in my mind….i want it to change!

    so happy for you being there!

    (and you’re welcome! excited that you’re giving some as gifts, too! so fun to see it spread!)

  3. Getting comfortable with ones body is an amazing thing! I go in and out of that place almost on a daily basis!

    Nell

  4. mommy boo of two

    That’s great! Congratulations because that certainly isn’t easy. I can do that comfortably at home and my parent’s house 🙂

  5. Goodness, this post strikes a chord in my heart. I’ve always struggled with my image … I hope I can get to the place you are after the baby is born. Congratulations. That is huge progression.

  6. I’m still working on getting to that place, myself, so this was wonderful to read. Eighteen months after Sean was born, and I still look at myself and wonder, “what happened?!” I’m working on it, but I hope to someday make my peace with the stretch marks, belly pudge, and c-section scar, but I’m not quite there yet.

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