I woke up this morning on my side, with my 13 month old daughter draped across my hip. That’s apparently where she needed to sleep in the wee hours of the morning. She climbed down, I rolled over for a few more stolen minutes of slumber.
From my warm comfy bed, I could hear a time out in the making, “MINE!” “NOT PAIGE!” “NOOOOOO!!!” combined with Paige’s shrill scream that means she has been wronged (at least in her mind).
After the husband got cleaned up, I slipped into the shower. While I heard the chaos going on in the living room, I won’t say that I purposefully took longer than normal, but I certainly didn’t rush through my quiet moments.
Today marks day four of life with no diapers for Fynn. Which is fabulous, and he’s doing spectacular, but the thought of that alone makes me want to curl up with a glass of wine and head back to bed for another two days. I can only come up with so many exciting and encouraging words about getting on the potty. And I think I’ve exhausted all of them.
The thing is, I’m exhausted. Just trying to find the words to encourage the kids, or to round them up to get out the door, is exhausting. This morning in the shower there was a brief moment where I wished that it were me who was going to head out the door this morning to go to work. Then I remembered not only does it make sense for me to be home financially, but we chose this lifestyle for a reason.
I keep thinking this too shall pass, and sometime hopefully soon I’ll feel re energized and recharged. I’m sure the constant headaches don’t help, they make it far too difficult to concentrate and come out with words. Period. Writing is one thing, I can take my time, make changes, get it all down. But when I’m speaking, I’m finding that I come up short. It’s frustrating, for me and those around me I’m sure.
The hubby and I have a weekend away coming up (actually, in 16 days, but who’s counting?) and I’m so looking forward to some quiet peaceful time to get my head back. When you keep going and going with no down time (yes, I know, we were just in Florida, but when you have kids around, there really isn’t anything called down time!) it begins to wear on you. I can’t be alone in thinking that.
I thought there was a direction for this post, but like my brain today, the path I was on got a little skewed, twisted and turned around. In a little while my fantastic in laws will arrive, and play with my children while I run out to a doctors appointment. I’ll take those few moments of quiet in the car and revel in them. I won’t purposefully take longer than necessary, (truthfully I might even sneak a latte and quick trip to the library to pick up a few reserved items…) but I certainly won’t rush my moments.