The thing I don’t talk about

I’d really like to write about my headaches. Or migraines. Or whatever they are.

But in doing so, I feel like a baby.

After all, they’re only headaches. But they’re so much more.

Debilitating doesn’t even cover it.

I’ve had one since late June. Three months ago. Just about every single day.

I’ve tried ways to deal with them, but hardly anything works. We’re working on it right now. Trying different options so I don’t have to be heavily drugged around my children. To put it lightly.

That’s the hard part. The kids. They deserve so much more. Not a grumpy mommy. When I have a chance to sit down, I do. Then I get called out.

“Mommy, please get off the couch”

Those words hit harder than anyone would ever know. Playing with my kids is what I live for. But sometimes it’s hard to overcome the pressure, the pain, the mind numbing sensations that come with the migraine. But I don’t want them to remember mommy being stuck on the couch.

They deserve so much more. I deserve so much more. To be healthy isn’t too much to ask for. To be free of pain isn’t too much to ask for. I’ll get there, I know I will. I also know there has to be a way other than the medication. I hear whispers telling me to keep searching, keep looking for answers. They’re out there. It’s just a matter of time until we find them.

And we will. For me, for them, for us.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “The thing I don’t talk about

  1. Tara

    I am so, so, sorry you are going through this Corinne. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting your kids to see you on the couch all the time. I have often wondered what impact my pain (and the surrounding haze of medication) has had on Sophia. But it will get better, and hopefully someday this will just be a bad memory for you. Until then, talk about it all you want. You are not a baby, you are a woman who is dealing with more pain than most people ever experience in their lives. Not just dealing with it… triumphing over it.
    Keep your chin up, girl!

  2. Have you tried chiropractic? Or physical therapy? I had debilitating migraines for months and no one could figure out why. And then we realized that they had started in response to a car accident. Something so simple, yet no one caught it. I still have migraines sometimes for other reasons, but nothing like that six month stretch of time that nothing helped alleviate them and I could not function. I am praying for you. Take care of you.

  3. Connie

    Dear Corinne,
    Just want to let you know that I will be praying for you. You are not a baby…pain is real and when it doesn’t go away it can overwhelm us. My sister-in-law was just telling me tonight that she had a terrible migraine for two days due to the position that she’d been holding her head when doing a project. Her son-in-law is a physical therapist and he worked on her neck, head and shoulders and her migraine was gone this morning. Her massage therapist told her that anytime anyone feels their shoulders lifting or starting to “scrunch” up then it’s time to stand up, move around, or do some stretches. I agree with Tricia…a physical therapist or chiropractor may be able to help relieve the pain.
    Love and Prayers, Connie

  4. Hugs Corinne! I get the occasional migrane (1x a month) and sinus infections about 4 times a year that feel like migranes, and those have me laying on the couch and miserable. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have pain like that on a daily basis for such a long stretch of time. Especially with 2 little ones at home. I haven’t found anything that helps with my migranes either. Sorry I don’t have the “cure” for you. I hope you can find some relief soon!

  5. I’m so sorry to hear about how hard these headaches are hitting you.
    I second trying to go a great chiropractor. And maybe some energy work? The holistic way of medicine has worked wonders for our family during the past two years.
    Here’s to hoping you find some relief.

  6. crnnoel

    Thank you ladies for your comments!! I can’t tell you how much they mean. I woke up this morning feeling lighter after getting it out there ­čÖé And a wonderful friend sent me information about an acupuncture clinic that has hours tomorrow that I hope to try. Finding a good chiropractor in the area is on my to do list as well. Thank you thank you thank you!

  7. Hi Corinne. I understand about the headaches… I can certainly sympathize. I have fibromyalgia (?) I’ve been told, and the headaches were the last straw. The only thing that works for me is a chiropractor I saw who does Cranial-Sacral Osteopathy. It’s non-invasive and life-changing. I did meds but stopped because it doesn’t fix things. This does. Maybe you could look into it. Hopefully something will help. No-one deserves to go through that. You deserve to feel good, too. You can email me if you want. koreenwnaugler (at symbol) yahoo (dot) com

  8. I was just suffering from one hell of a migraine yesterday, so I can relate. Mine are always caused from candida or my neck being out. I hope you get to the bottom of what causes them.

    Nell

  9. If that is complaining.. you are a saint.
    I suffered from migraines after my 5th baby , off and on for 2 years, and later realized it was from all the hip holding and neck scrunching.
    I stretch and keep an eye for the slightest twinges of tightness on that side, added a easy running routine, and it rid me of the laying in the dark and nausea.
    Good luck with this… and your kids will learn empathy and patience more than they will your time outs.

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