The responsibility, alone, of having two children makes me stop in my tracks and want to hide at home some days.
It’s so much. They’re so little, so dependent, so… fragile.
And that’s why I have faith. That things will be ok, that there’s someone other than myself looking out for them. Because I can’t possibly be enough. I can’t be everywhere, I can’t be everything. There’s something more. That thought at least eases my mind and helps me through the day.
Even just watching Paige. It’s a miracle we haven’t been to the ER for either child, especially Paige. She has NO fear. Fynn at least thought about things before he did them – like jumping from the couch to the foot stool or something like that. Paige doesn’t stop. She just does. From chair to chair, from table to chair, from couch to who knows where, the girl is in constant motion.
I’m thankful that someone is always watching her, even if it’s not me. I try, but there’s only so much I can do. And I’m ok with that. I’m their mother, and I try my best, but I’m only human.
I hope they know that. And are thankful for that.