Only human

The responsibility, alone, of having two children makes me stop in my tracks and want to hide at home some days.

It’s so much. They’re so little, so dependent, so… fragile.

And that’s why I have faith. That things will be ok, that there’s someone other than myself looking out for them. Because I can’t possibly be enough. I can’t be everywhere, I can’t be everything. There’s something more. That thought at least eases my mind and helps me through the day.

Even just watching Paige. It’s a miracle we haven’t been to the ER for either child, especially Paige. She has NO fear. Fynn at least thought about things before he did them – like jumping from the couch to the foot stool or something like that. Paige doesn’t stop. She just does. From chair to chair, from table to chair, from couch to who knows where, the girl is in constant motion.

I’m thankful that someone is always watching her, even if it’s not me. I try, but there’s only so much I can do. And I’m ok with that. I’m their mother, and I try my best, but I’m only human.

I hope they know that. And are thankful for that.
Oct 15, 2009 019

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Only human

  1. Spoken like a great mom. Blessings. ­čÖé

  2. liz

    this is such a shallow comment for this post, but OMG HER LITTLE SKIRT/DRESS?!?! too cute! your kids are always so well-dressed!

    • crnnoel

      You crack me up! ­čÖé That is one of the cutest little dresses she has… thank you by the way! I feel like they wear the same things over and over, but they’re all cute!

  3. This is something I think of, often. Especially when I become overwhelmed with just how HUGE a responsibility I have, raising this little boy, guiding him as he grows. There are days that the worries can become overwhelming…the “what if’s.” It does ease my mind, give me peace, when I remind myself that I can’t do it all, see it all, predict and prevent it all. That I need to have faith that I’m not alone in this, and that if I put my faith and trust in something so much larger than myself, it will be ok. It may not play out as I hope or plan, but it will be ok. That we’ll be ok.

  4. Your Paige sounds just like my Dani. No healthy fear! I completely relate both to the fear and the faith. If it weren’t for a loving, redeeming and sovereign God, I would be a wreck.

  5. Yes. I know just how you feel. Walter is my cautious child, and my baby girl is my wild one. As they get older, it is even more surreal that I’m responsible for them. I have to help him learn to read?!?! Thank God for God!

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