Monthly Archives: December 2009

Here’s to 2010…

The year was 1999.

His hair was blonde. Glasses thick and black rimmed. I believe he was channeling Buddy Holly.

I was set up on a blind date, by a good friend of mine and his girlfriend. We met at his parents house (we were all in college…) and went from there. We ended up at a beach in Wells, Maine. Ringing in a time of uncertainty. For all we knew the world was going to end with the year 2000, and if we were going to be anywhere, it was to be a peaceful spot with crisp salt air. My friend and his girlfriend are now engaged. Me and Buddy Holly? We didn’t click. Not even on a chilled romantic New Years Eve beach setting.

As my mother in law said over Christmas “Thank goodness that didn’t work out!”

Less than a mile away, unbeknown to me, sat my future husband with his family. I kid you not.

Ten years later I sit in the same condo he sat with his family. My family is currently getting tucked into bed. I’m sitting, waiting for my husband to emerge from the kids room so we can have our own quiet, intimate, new years celebration.

This past decade… the thought of it all brings me to tears. There was so much. There was heartache, pain, memories that shall never be brought back to the surface. But there was love. Lots of love. Falling, and diving, and swimming in love. Marriage, and pregnancy, and babies. Friendships dove, and then resurfaced. Bonds of motherhood. Bonds of womanhood. Bonds of marriage. Bonds of family.  This past decade held so much. So much of who I am, and who I strive to be. It’s the decade that I remember most vividly, painfully, joyfully.

As we sit tonight, glasses in hand, views of the beach both of us knew before we knew each other, we remember. And rejoice in the now. And what is meant to be, and has been, and is presently.

Once again, Happy New Year. Here’s to a breathtaking 2010, filled with joy, laughter, and an abundance of hope.

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~2009~

2009 was a fantastic year. We had ups and downs, like everyone else, but there were so many bright moments that outshine any of the negative ones. And for the first time in… a long time… I was not pregnant and did not give birth this year! Which feels odd, but good.

In any case, one of my favorite things that happened this past year was starting this blog. I’ve put a lot of heart and soul, late nights and deep’ish thoughts, into it. And in return, I can look through the entries and have a somewhat permanent record of our life. I’ve “met” so many wonderful folks through blogging, have expanded my reader to almost full capacity, and have enjoyed every moment I put into blogging.

I didn’t want to do a Best Of post, but I would like to share some of my favorite moments through the year…

In 2009* we…

participated in a CSA share {community supported agriculture}

had countless beautiful beach days

vacationed in Florida

danced in the kitchen to favorite tunes

went outside of our comfort zone in our living room

I felt like a fruitloop in a forest

remembered how much and why we love each other

also loved some trees

celebrated a few birthdays, one with a memorable cake disaster

had proud, and memory inspiring parenting moments

started embracing faith

and loved each moment of our every day life

Thank you for reading, for commenting, and for the encouragement. What a glorious year 2009 has been.

Here is to a safe and happy New Year! See you in 2010!

*obviously we had lots of fun moments before August, but this blog has only been up and running since Aug of 2009 😉

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Wearing Paige

I completely forgot.

I forgot how wearing a baby, or toddler, can calm a situation. It had slipped my mind for the past month or so how much I could get done at home if I was wearing one of my little ones.

Maybe it was because my beloved Ergo was stashed in the car, and every time I wanted to use it inside… it was ten degrees outside… and my mei tai was in my closet somewhere hidden behind boxes of Christmas decorations and gifts.

This morning, I remembered.

With a clear shot to the beautiful handmade {by my mother} carrier that I caught a glimpse of over the weekend as I stored decorations, I dawned the fabric, and wore Paige. Within minutes, I remembered.

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And I got a lot done. With little fuss, and lots of snuggles.

And even though her stash no longer includes a pacifier, she carried whatever was precious to her, as I carried one of my precious babes.

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With her long lashes brushing my chest, and her fingers clasped around her dolly we moved quietly and swiftly through chores today.

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A day in the life…

8:17am  Husband leaves for work. Children yell “bye! bye! bye Daaaaaaa Deeeeee!!” for ten minutes after he’s out the door.

8:20am I hear “where’d Daddy go?” ten times in a row. I answer “to work” ten times in a row. Get asked again, answer “Constantinople”. Fynn seems more satisfied with that answer.

9am hair drying, screaming children

9:25am Paige is laying on the floor crying, ask Fynn if he hit his sister. His response, with hand in the air – finger pointing as if correcting me… “I not hit my sister, I pushed my sister!”

9:45’ish welcome a phone call from my mama… everyone wants to talk to Grammy.

10:30am reunited with the concept of an early lunch.

11am remind Fynn that he has his special Wall-E underwear on, and he wouldn’t want to pee in them… might have to get ten more of those in order to remain accident free…

11:30am lay down with the kids for naptime, in mommy’s bed. Everyone kisses and hugs, cover with blankets. Wrestling down Paige, snuggling both, am thankful that Fynn is back to needing a nap.

1:00pm naptime ended way too soon, and badly. Screams for no reason from Paige, cries because of the screams from Fynn. Close my eyes, and breathe in the lingering smell of husband from his pillow.

1:10pm everything is made better by sharing chocolate monies, as Fynn calls them. We all have chocolate breath and hands, smiling and giggling over the huge amount of chocolate coins consumed.

2:00pm ask Fynn not to step on books, put books on table. Paige grins from ear to ear, grabs a book, puts it on the floor, and stomps. Oy.

2:30pm realize Paige and I make a decent fort building team (blocks made from empty boxes of wine covered in contact paper, courtesy of my classy little brother =) )

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3:30pm prepare dinner, with children underfoot.

4:00pm Fynn tells me he’s hungry, then he pops up out of no where saying I’m eating Doc Hudson. Lovely!

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4:15pm start to watch Wall-E with kids, to see why they love it {I’ve never watched it all the way through, still haven’t…}

4:30pm yogurt time. Followed by bath time. Followed by children running around naked time.

5pm dinner in the oven, more Wall-E. Waiting patiently for hubby to get home.

5:10pm while I find a few minutes to read a daily devotional, children decide to try to fold my hamper of clean laundry. Piles and piles of clothes strewn across my bedroom, but smiles of pride as they point to their hard work.

6:07pm husband arrives. Daaaaaa Deeeee!!! Sighs of relief. Hugs, dinner, and playtime.

7:10pm story time… BED TIME!!! Turn on computer, put pj’s on, put feet up, and time to relax……

… that was a day in the life of this mama…

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Small, yet heartfelt, acknowledgements

Months ago Lucas and I spent a Saturday or Sunday running around with the kids. Normally we limit our ins and outs because our kids {like everyone else’s} are not a fan of multiple stops when it comes to errands. We had stopped no less than four times, and were headed to our last stop, when from the backseat we heard that a truck had been broken, and couldn’t Daddy fix it? Daddy, on his last string of patience, told him something along the lines that he broke it, so it wouldn’t be getting fixed.

{not a normal thing this Daddy says…. this man totes around the patience of a saint most days, and can fix almost anything that has a wheel popped off, or a bed unattached}

I caught myself reaching to the back, grabbing the truck, and attached the broken piece. We caught each others eyes and snickered, so worn out from buckling and unbuckling, lifting, rushing, keeping hands off of shelves… and he said the magic words to me.

Thank goodness you’re the stay at home parent.

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A small, yet heartfelt, acknowledgement.

I take them when I get them. Just as he takes every Thank goodness you have a job that you enjoy, and you’re such a wonderful provider that comes out of my mouth on too few occasion.

Not every woman is cut out to be a career woman. Not every woman is cut out to stay at home with the kids. Not every man has the drive to bring home the bacon, and occasionally, when asked to, fry it up as well. Thankfully, we are cut out for the tasks at hand.

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Last night the kids slept poorly, and then woke up too early this morning. With that in mind I canceled a playdate, and had a few small errands in my head that we could do before an early naptime. As we readied ourselves for the day, we talked about what was on our agenda. My agenda. Fynn was not please. So we threw caution to the wind, and flew by the seat of our snowpants. The morning was spent on a muddy yet frozen playground, with snow boots and mittens and hats. We went with the flow. Not all mothers could do that.

This evening, after a Monday that left me with smiles instead of a headache, Fynn came up to me and put my face in his hands. Looked at me and said with a smile You’re a good mommy.

A small, yet heartfelt, acknowledgement. I’ll take it.

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Discovery

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Today we took the kids to The Discovery Museum. It’s a little bit of a hike for us, but we were all aching to get out of the house, and we didn’t want the crowds that we figured the big city museums would have today. So we headed west, where the world moves at a slightly slower pace, perfect for a rainy Sunday.

As soon as we walked in the door we were greeted by an expansive train table, which Fynn was magnetically drawn. Lucas stayed with him as Paige and I explored the three floors of fun. A water table, old fashioned diner set up, a safari room, and much more.

Paige and I don’t get to spend much time just the two of us. When we do, she holds on tighter than I expect. When it’s just Paige, she holds back a little. Often she stands and observes the world around her, waiting for the nudge. Waiting for a big brother to come and show her what’s okay to play on, what’s good for exploring. She waits to see what roads he’ll pave for her. When she needs to do the paving, she hesitates. She scrutinizes everyone within eyesight.  Reads people and places before she takes one step. Eventually she’ll dive in, but it takes her a while to test the waters, however warm and comfortable.

I get it.

More than I care to admit, I get it. I, too, wait for someone to pave the way, to make the road a little less bumpy, before I head down it myself. I watch instead of participate.

A lot.

I’m not one for New Years Resolutions. They always end up being a piece of paper crumpled and thrown aside within the first two weeks of the new year. A list of unreasonable goals and expectations. But this coming year, I vow to make changes. To be a participant. To nudge myself when necessary, and pave my own way. It’s possible, and reasonable. I want to show, especially my daughter, that she doesn’t need anyone to pave her way. That she can have faith in herself and that she can reach whatever stars she desires.

This year we will make things happen. With faith, dreams, and a joyful spirit, I will be an active participant in my life.

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Constant motion

The thing about life with toddlers is that there’s never a still moment

unless someone is asleep

a dull moment does not exist

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They are constantly in motion

Jumping, running, colliding

motion is the definition of children

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and if you stop

if you think you need to catch your breath

all that’s left will be the ghost of a monkey jumping on the bed

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Motion is the definition of parenting

it’s not a choice once those babes are born

you keep jumping, running, colliding

and we embrace it…

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