Locking the door

When Lucas is home, I lock the bathroom door when I take a shower.

Otherwise, the kids run in, opening the door, letting in the cold air… letting the peaceful steam that has collected fly out the door.

And I like hot showers. And bathrooms so steamy you need to run cold water in the sink to catch a breath now and then. It helps me focus on my breathing, it slows me down. I can see the spots on the mirror where I once drew “I {heart} L” and where he once wrote “I {heart} C” with clean fingers on a steamy mirror.

So today, with Lucas at home thanks to the holiday, I locked the bathroom door.

I heard them, moments after I stepped into the make~your~skin~red hot shower. But I zoned out, lathered up, washed hair, rinsed, stood, breathed. And then I turned the water off. And I heard. “Mommy, the door won’t open!” and then “mommy, the door is stuck!” and finally “mommy, you need help getting out!! Why won’t the door open???”

The last straw? The hand that fit under the door. Fingers urgently reaching, waggling, trying  help me escape.

I giggled, told him I’d open the door if he backed up, threw a towel on and got myself ready for the cold air to suck the breath out of me. The door opened to a little boy cheering. Jumping up and down, pushing past me to get into the bathroom to sit with me as I dried my hair.

After all, why would I want to be locked away from a smiling chatty little boy, and a little girl who won’t let a waterfall of snot slow down her spunk? It’s hard for me to believe that one day they’ll both be the ones locking the bathroom door, on the other side, looking for privacy. But right now, I’ll take a few minutes in a steamy shower, as privacy is something everyone needs for five minutes at a time. I’ll even take the hands under the door reaching to get in, because after all… it’s good for a mama to know she’s missed and loved every  now and then.



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22 responses to “Locking the door

  1. We are truly kindered spirits… I love the hotest shower I can possible stand. I love it so hot that at times it takes your breath away.

    That is my true mommy time. Time for Mom to relax and soak in the day or what is about to happen in the day.

    But yes it is so nice to sometimes feel missed and to know that they still need us, love us and want to spend time with us.

    Because once they hit the teenage stage it will be a totally different story.

  2. That’s such a sweet image…. little fingers reaching under the door to help you get it open. How thoughtful! =)

  3. “mommy, you need help getting out!! Why won’t the door open???” — He is just too cute! And I love the image of his little fingers reaching under the door, searching for you.

    I can’t tell you when the last time I took a shower alone was. I usually have Sean in there with me, happily scribbling on the walls, my legs, and his tummy with bathtub crayons while I wash up.

  4. Yep, relating. Those locked 5 minutes of pure steam and red-hottedness, bliss!

  5. Lock that door, sister!! Because if you let them in the bathroom while you are showering, it becomes Open Season on Mommy’s Body.

    Two cases in point–

    Miss D: Hey Mama? If your boobies get any bigger we could play boxing on them.

    Miss M: (pointing at my nether region) Harryboy!!!!!! (Harryboy is the cat)

    Keep them OUT of the bathroom!

  6. “You need help getting out?” That made me laugh out loud. =^)

  7. I laughed too when I read, “You need help getting out?” He is your little superhero. I have taken a shower with Sylvie nearly every day of her 21 months, and on the occasions when I haven’t, I’ve both relished the privacy and missed her.

  8. From the day Big Boy was born, the bathroom has been my sanctuary. But this anecdote had me smiling all the same. As I always say, I never am happier to see my sons than after I’ve been away from them.

  9. oh, I had to laugh at this one. And, yes, it changes faster than you’d expect…

  10. Ahhh yes…I have similar little hands under my bathroom door. Somehow, they find their way in to throw toys in to my bubble bath!!

  11. Hehe. “Mommy, the door won’t open!” “mommy, the door is stuck!” ❤

    Showering alone is a rare luxury for me too.. usually Casey insists on showering with me 🙂

  12. Sometimes I think – I’LL NEVER HAVE A SECOND TO MYSELF AGAIN – EVER! But every time I do, I think what you so beautifully wrote – that there will come a day when I’ll be on the other side of their door, of their lives – when they’re married with kids of their own – and I’ll be knocking. So, for now, I soak in every second with my little boys, every single second – even the ones when I have to open the shower door. : )

    Such a lovely post.

  13. My showers are my mommy time…rejuvenates my soul and gets my thinker going. My kids know that when I am in the shower I am unavailable. I could never, ever pass up little fingers that have come to rescue me though…precious!

  14. I cherish the weekends so I MIGHT be able to sneak in a shower alone but usually, Hannah likes to sit by the shower while I’m in it, coloring, reading, whatever. Part of me is touched that she loves me so much she’ll stand the steamy hot room but the other part wishes being downstairs with daddy was just as nice.

    Love the imagery in this. So sweet!

  15. A bath is my only escape and yet, like you, it is only my “me” time when my husband is home. And even then, the kids are begging to come in… or crying outside the door 😉

    Gotta love it!


  16. It is SO funny that you posted this today! The door to our bathroom (at least the part w/ the bathtub, shower, and sinks) doesn’t lock. It is nearly impossible to take a shower in peace while Finley is awake, even if my husband is around. Just this morning Finn was standing outside the shower singing Jingle Bells to me and “fixing” the shower (aka hammering on the glass!) with his tools.

    I really loved this post!! 🙂

  17. Just took one of those showers! For me, though, it’s kind of a crappy choice most days: either shower alone before 6 am when Ben is still home OR shower at a nicer hour with company.

    I know that you’re right, and someday they’ll be on the other side of the locked door, but that’s something I can’t wrap my head around. It feels like these days are limitless.

  18. Nicki

    I have not had a lock on my bathroom door since I was pregnant, very pregnant with twins and #1 locked himself in the bathroom (he was almost 2). Now, I am happy when I get to use the bathroom without interruption with few exceptions. I have a dear friend who will continue our conversations through the door. I do not mind this. My house has only one bathroom so interruptions are plenty but everyone knows – if anyone is in the shower, shut the door quickly.

  19. our daughter will pound and pound on the bathroom door whenever one of us is in there.
    so you’re telling me this doesn’t go away.
    good to know.

  20. That is so cute!
    I love my showers super hot too. After a day of work, it is simply wonderful to get into a hot, steamy shower.

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