Today marks two weeks of sobriety for me.
Two weeks worth of being present.
14 days of gentle nudges each morning from Him, telling me that I can do this, that I’m worth it.
I might not always talk about it, or write about it, but my sobriety is always on my mind. It is a constant choice to be made. Me, and my family, over the bottle. And with those gentle nudges, the choice is getting easier to make. I’m not second guessing myself, I’ve admitted the problem, and there is no turning back.
I still feel like I’m flailing at times, trying to keep my head above water. Yesterday Fynn broke my glasses… and I could barely handle dealing with changing my day around to head out to order new glasses… and then I found out that I had to have an eye exam because my last prescription was only good for one year and not two… and between adding up the $$ in my head, and subtracting that from a bank account that is vertically challenged… my mind just kept spinning.
And it still spins. But I feel like I always have one foot planted on the ground now, instead of dealing with the drunk spins even when I wasn’t drinking. Because I was starting to feel those spins constantly. My life was teetering on the edge of that slippery slope… where you stand in the liquor store for one little thing, and wonder how you could sneak a few extra bottles in without being caught. For an emergency.
That was one of my moments.
And the gift was the gentle nudge pushing me out the door, without the secrecy.
Those nudges… those are my gift that I’m unwrapping today. They sing me to sleep now, quiet lullaby’s of hope and grace. They stay with me through the day. Helping me chose sobriety.
I will forever be thankful, and humbled, that God’s grace is present in nudges.
Please visit Emily at Chatting at the Sky for more Tuesday’s Unwrapped. You’ll find simple moments and simple mysteries unwrapped in everyday life. Enjoy!