For just about eight months, I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to write about the day Paige arrived. Fynn’s birth story came out exactly the way I wanted it to. I wanted to write everything so I had a clear recollection of what happened so I knew what to expect the next time. But Paige is our last baby. And there are different things from the day she was born that I want to remember and cherish….
I remember for days, weeks, before she was born I thought she would come early. Many a night I sat holding my little clock, trying to see if the contractions I was having came with any rhyme or reason. The nights before her birth were spent watching the 2008 Summer Olympics with Lucas and my mother – both with their eyes half on the games half on me to see if there were any signs of our little girl coming.
I remember on our way out of the apartment Lucas asking me if I was going to put my sandals on, and I glared at him. I gave him a look that meant to say “I’m having a contraction. I. Cannot. Move. I’ll get to it!”
I remember kissing Fynn goodbye, telling him to be good for Grammy. My head was filled with thoughts of how the next time we were all in our home we would be a family of four. Fynn would have a sister. There were very few hours left that he would be our only.
I remember being told in the car by my loving husband that I was the most chipper woman in labor he’d ever seen. I think I responded with something like “well, we’re going to have a baby!!!!!” 🙂
I remember pain. Lots of pain. And discouragement when the midwife checked and told me I had a ways to go… (though it ended up not being as long as she thought!)
I remember trying to get my huge pregnant self into the tub, which was not designed well for huge pregnant women.
I remember struggling with myself and the decision whether or not to accept pain medication. I did, one small dose of nubaine, and it was the best decision I could have made. With Fynn I could stay on top of the contractions, with Paige, I couldn’t. They were too fast, too painful, and they took my breath away.
I remember thinking about Fynn and what he was doing at home. Thanking God that my mom was with him, and she was in the same state for Paige’s birth 🙂
I remember thinking about Paige. What she would look like. How badly I just wanted to hold her.
I remember being loud. Louder than I think I’ve ever been. Being uninhibited and letting my body do whatever it needed to do in that moment.
I remember Paige. Perfect, round, pink, snuggly, warm, Paige.
And I remember Lucas. He, once again, shocked me with how supportive and wonderful he was. And how he looked holding our newborn baby.
I remember being proud of myself, feeling empowered.
Parts of that day are foggy, but others stand out so clear in my memory. Getting wheeled up to the maternity floor with Fynn in my lap, waiting anxiously for him to meet his baby sister when she came back from getting her first check up. Watching him watch her. Not being able to take my eyes off of my newly expanded family.
I remember spending both nights in the hospital memorizing my daughter. Memorizing her fingers and toes. Closing my eyes and memorizing her new baby smell.
I remember being thankful. And overjoyed. And absolutely, without a doubt, in love with Paige.
The Story of Paige was orignially published April 23rd, 2009 at The Story of Fynn & Paige by moi…