There was a week not so long ago that I walked around thinking something was off. I had looked in the mirror one morning and noticed that my belly looked a little rounder than normal… and of course my mind went to that spot. That oh dear… could I be walking around pregnant and not know? place. I think all women know the place.
Now, since having Paige the hubby and I have gone to extraordinary lengths to make sure we do not have a baby #3. So really, it wasn’t possible. But my mind still went there.
I walked around and would stop whenever I came across a mirror, and would asses how the belly looked. Could it be? Could it just be I gained weight? But I hadn’t.
A week or so went by, and it turns out I wasn’t pregnant. But something looked new. Same weight as before, but the curves looked so different.
At some point the revelation happened. The difference was that I wasn’t sucking my tummy in. By the grace of, something, I’ve been able to let go. I’ve been comfortable enough to feel and see the curves that make up who I am. That place where you can look in the mirror and feel ok, the place where you’re not trying to be something you’re not. I’m able to let go and finally breathe. It’s taken years, but I’m here, and I’m loving it.